Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
