You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
