my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
