This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
