Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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