He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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