im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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