If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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