it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
