went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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