Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
