I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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