the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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