Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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