I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
