We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
this will be a night to untag.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Everyone says I win the strip club
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
