Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
