It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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