She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
