Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
