Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it hurts more in the daytime
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
