After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
