i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
high people should be assigned attendants
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
