Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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