i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
