Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
