either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
