she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
