The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
