I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
