its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
No subtext here. People are naked.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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