That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
