I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
