ya dads aren't the best wingmen
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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