She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
FUCK WHALES
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
