Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

i just had sex bonerless

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(386): View more from Florida

totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15

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(207): View more from Maine

Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.

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(831): View more from California

I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"

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(512): View more from Texas

Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus

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(813): View more from Florida

If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.

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(813): View more from Florida

She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce

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