i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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