just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
