I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
