the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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