I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
