end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
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