her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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