Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
