Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
