we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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