just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
