you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
