I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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