come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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